Forgiving Others Doesn’t Mean Forgetting What They Did To You. Use Forgiveness The Right Way To Heal Your Deep WoundsOct 28, 2023
I know I always ask you to embrace forgiveness because it allows you to be free from emotional trauma. But I see many people misunderstand forgiveness and practice it the wrong way.
For example… I got an interesting question the other day from one of my friends. She asked, “If I forgive my Ex, doesn’t that mean I’m allowing him to hurt me again? If this is the case, then why am I forgiving?”
Then it hit me… Just like her, a lot of people have the same wrong notion about forgiveness.
They all think forgiving means forgetting what happened and moving on. That’s why many of you are finding it hard to forgive and heal.
Because your wounds are so deep, you can’t forgive. Instead, you are choosing to suffer by holding grudges.
That’s not any good. Wanna know why?
Because if you are holding a grudge against people, that means you have surrendered your powers to them and now they are controlling you.
They are manipulating your view of the world. Because you can’t think straight now. They are in your head… all the time…in disguise of negative emotions such as anger, resentment, hatred, etc.
Let me simplify this with an example…
Has anybody said to you recently that you've become ‘rude’, ‘mean’, or ‘silent’, all of a sudden?
Or something similar… which is not your nature, in general?
What they have noticed in your behavior are the negative emotional triggers that you’ve collected with every hurtful experience in your life so far.
They are stuck in your emotional system because you have not yet forgiven those people. That’s why they still have so much hold on you, and they are making your life more and more bitter, sadder, and lonely.
Some studies show that these types of mismanaged negative emotions and hostility lead to serious mental and physical health problems. They could go to the level of becoming a possible risk factor for cardiovascular disease. You don’t want to go to that level.
That’s why I always advise all of my clients to never ever hold grudges. Always be forgiving, flexible, and adaptive.
Because a simple act of forgiveness has tremendous power to change your life in ways you never thought possible.
Here’s a solid proof…
There is a famous scientific study known as The Stanford Forgiveness Project, which is the largest intervention study on forgiveness. It has shown how forgiveness reduces all these negative emotions in no time.
They did demonstrations with college students who go through a lot of emotional distress at such a delicate age, and they found out that those young adults reduced their hatred, anger, and hurt significantly within just 6 hours of forgiveness training.
Not just that… It made them feel more hopeful about life and spiritually content.
They realized that when you forgive others, you become more hopeful, optimistic, and compassionate because forgiveness is essential for our overall growth as human beings.
All this in just 6 hours of forgiveness training. Isn’t that fascinating?
I provide a whole 8 weeks of such training to you via my course: “A Complete Emotional Breakthrough”
You can imagine the benefits to your mental, psychological, and physical health...they are limitless and truly miraculous…
Now coming back to our original question, which my friend asked…
When I ask you to forgive others, I don’t ask you to forget everything that happened to you and allow others to harm you again the same way they did in the past.
Forgiveness is not that.
Forgiveness is all about managing your painful memories and emotions in a way that allows you to heal yourself.
It means…letting go of all the burden of those negative emotions associated with the painful events in your life and allowing yourself to become free.
And this has to be your conscious choice. Not a forceful decision. Because you come first in the whole forgiving process. It’s for your own emotional well-being. Not theirs.
That’s what I teach you to do in my course step-by-step using practical worksheets.
Instead of trying to forget what happened to you, I help you to focus on learning from it.
I help you to reflect on those life experiences, find out the lessons to learn, and use them to become more resilient and wise. So you can prevent such things from happening in future.
That’s the right way of practicing forgiveness.
Sounds fair now?
Check out my course here for more details: https://coach-kimmy.mykajabi.com/course-unleashing-the-power-within-for-emotional-healing
If you like this blog, please share with your friends and colleagues. Allow them an opportunity to forgive themselves and others too. God bless!